Body mass Index

Calculate your body mass index here.
The normal and healthy body mass index for a person is 18.5 kg/m2.

Chloe from Chloé Van Paris wrote,

"I just want to remenber you that the body mass of less than 18.5
is underweight and may indicate malnutrition,
an eating disorder, or other health problems.
For exemple: If a model mesure 1.8 metres (5 ft 11),
her weight will be consider normal if she is weighting between 60 and 81 kilograms.
The same model will be considered underweight if she is weighting less than 60 kg (132 lb)."

She also wrote, "
If you are not in the normal range: Change your Diet." That's the hardest part i think.
It's irritating that the result of mine is In Normal Range with 19.6 kg/m2, when i found 44 kilograms is FAT for me.

I want to reach 40 kilograms, actually, i was 37 or 38 back then on my teenage age, around 17 - 18 years old. 40 when i reached 20. But, my weight gained fast when i reached 22, that's why i started my yo-yo diet, 'mostly cause i couldn't stand a healthy diet when i really want to be as skinny as i can be, which makes my weight ups and downs.

I once reached 37 on 2006, but it was really scary, cause i looked like scary skeleton, imagine Nicole Richie back then, when she first came up with her scary skinny body, i was once being that girl too. Almost an anorexic, or maybe i already an anorexic. I felt fat and ugly, refused to eat, that's when i met my boyfriend, then he helped me, made me realize i was sick. That's when i started to read many books about anorexia and bulimia, and getting to know a lot 'bout it and started to change my habit.

But still, i can't stop my diet 'til now, the yo-yo diet for spesific, but i do it in a more humanly, no more crazy scary diet. I still eat 2 times a day mostly, and sometimes 3 times, in small portion. Sometimes i eat like a pig too, when i lost my self control, mostly when my boyfriend is in town. But then again, i'm more human than i was now.
I just can't help myself to the diet addiction, skinny adoration. Which girl don't ??
I know it's unhealthy, but i just can't stand of being fat too at the same time.

I found myself hates being 20 and up, 'cause things got worse for my skin and my body when i reached 20. It's getting harder to lose wight while it's so easy gain weight even because 1 time fat food, easily get freckle on the skin, harder to lose it, and so many other annoying problems in my body. I hate being and getting "aging" day by day. Weak.

The challenge is, how i can still be slim and healthy at the same time, with the normal body index ?? Well, i don't know how, at least i still don't know, but i'll find a way, since my boyfriend already asked me to live a healthy life too.

I can't and i won't be a hypocrite to ask you all do a healthy life, accept your body the way it is, love what God give us, since i'm not the one who can say that to you, i'm just a weak shallow girl. But all i ask is, don't push yourself too hard. Your body has a limit. And though it's cheesy, but hey, someday you'll find a guy like my boyfriend, who can accept me the way i am, fat or skinny, he just love me for me. He even make fun of my fat sometimes in lovely way. Your true love won't see you skinny or fat, they'll just see YOU.

'Cause it's true that there are even more in life than a sexy skinny body,
I hope i can be that wise girl, than the shallow me now,
I hope someday i can be the girl he wants me to be, a girl who live healthy life and the girl who can love herself the way he loves her.

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